Killzone 2 Review: Space Nazis, With a Vengeance

If there’s anything to remember the original Killzone by, it’s the glowing red eyes of Space Nazis on the cover of its case. Other than that there’s not much else to remember but a broken shooter with an ambition so big, it was obviously compensating for its minuscule genitals. Once hailed as the “Halo-killer” of the time, Killzone was met with timid reviews, disappointment and so, remained a virgin. A virgin? Is that the appropriate word? Of course it is, as the ideas behind Killzone were bursting with potential untapped, ready to be exploited and destined to become Sony’s plaything.

Cue E3 2005, and what seemed to be a CG trailer is told to be actual gameplay. The PlayStation 3 hadn’t been released yet, but that didn’t stop the tsunami that was Killzone 2, filled with anticipation and more Space Nazis, crashing into the world of fanboys and gamers alike (notice how fanboys aren’t actually gamers). Since then, arguments have erupted from the seams of forums, and the internet finally had at least one thing that was most viewed upon other than porn.

Now it’s 2009, and Killzone 2 has arrived and optometrists are having a ball. Why? Because people are having trouble distinguishing the difference between the original CG trailer and the actual gameplay because they can’t believe their eyes; and neither can I. Killzone 2 really is nothing short of a spectacle (pun intended). I remember downloading the demo when it was first available and being unable to connect the dots between the thoughts of disbelief that I was actually controlling the game in front of me. I’d played it through it several times before deciding that maybe, first, I should change the control scheme (because the initial setup is simply put: bollocks), then pick up the full game. And what a game it is.

If Killzone 2 were an explosion, it would have enough power to decimate a small African country, because that’s the lasting effect of the impression the game leaves on you. Even from load up, the introductory cinematic leaves a lasting feel for the game. A massive scale invasion on the far end of the epicnessometer with missiles exploding off in the distance, drop-ships disintegrating in front of you, comrades wailing in pain as they’re torched to a crisp and a resonating effect for justice on both sides of the conflict happening around you. Overall it gives this game a sense of purpose. It’s a theme that’s continued throughout the single player campaign and even onwards onto multiplayer, giving online matches an immense feeling of scale unfelt by other games on the market so far.

So, what is Killzone 2 about? Well to use a blunt example, the entire game can be described as follows; kid builds sandcastle, bully sees it, bully kicks it over, kid gets pissed, kid shoots bully with a pistol and that’s it. To put it into context, 400 years on from today, you play as the forgettable protagonist Sev, one of many soldiers a part of the interstellar Insolent Stereotypical A-holes (ISA). In this instance, the ISA are the kid from the previous example. Which is a fitting exemplification as the ISA are an entire army where everyone seems to constantly blabber mouth lines you’d expect to hear from kids at junior high; where “your Mom” jokes are plentiful and intelligent English is non-existent.

The bully in this case? Well what couldn’t be more evil than a Space Nazi? How about an entire civilization of Space Nazis? It seems that 400 years on from WWII, Nazis are still a problem. And so, they’ve been exiled into space to another planet made of turd with weather to match; as an attempt to get rid of them. If I were a Space Nazi, I’d be quite annoyed about that, so it comes as no surprise that all of the Space Nazis that live on turd-planet are annoyed about it too. So in the original Killzone, it makes sense that they invade the bastards that put them where they are, steal a couple of nukes and lure them back to turd-planet so that Sony can earn a quick buck for a second escapade in Killzone 2.

When playing through the single player campaign, if you can get passed the feeling of wanting to throw your controller at the screen whenever your comrades start waving their dicks out in the wind amidst a battle to discuss who did whose Mom and when, then you’re in for an enjoyable ride. But this game has got to be one of the first I’ve ever played where there’s a character, on my side, that I passionately loathe. If Rico Velásquez were a real person, (for the fact of which he isn’t real brightens my day) for all I care, he could get raped by a rhinoceros, whilst having his eyes plucked out with a pipe wrench as he is impaled by a fire-hydrant when being urinated on by his life-time hero on the same day his mother disowns him and has sex with his best friend with his girlfriend dumping him to join in, as well as his doctor telling him he has testicular cancer then later realizing he is given a cup of tea instead of a coffee upon exiting a Starbucks.

That is how much I hate him. Every time I see him I want to strangle him, which leads me onto and furthermore reinforces my dream; of how I long to be a Space Naz- I mean Helghast soldier. The Helghast (Space Nazis) have got to be one of the most recognizable, evil looking yet badass enemies of all time. I feel sorry for each one I kill, for that’s a spare magazine I could have used to desecrate Rico’s already dead body. Their look is iconic, the glowing eyes spell doom yet when you hear them scream you can’t help but cry for each of their deaths, as it is a sin against badassery. If I were a Helghast, I would call for universal peace, plant flowers on my home-world’s barren landscape and spread petals to all and start a bakery. I’d do that not just to be un-pc or be funny but because that way, no one would have a reason to kill them. Or maybe Helghan life was like that until the ISA bombed the fuck out of their home world? I guess we’ll never know.

But one thing that can be certain, is that if Killzone 2 didn’t set you up with an army of immature pillocks with a sense of humour to make hillbillies look at them like dunces, the whole single player experience wouldn’t be spoiled. But as a game on its own, Killzone 2 provides fresh, challenging sequences with enough diversity to make a 5 star restaurant menu comparable to porridge made from stale oats. From shooting your way through alley ways, raiding a palace, being bombarded whilst crossing a bridge, being dropped from a space-ship into free-fall to driving a tank, manning an anti-air turret and parading though a mechanised suit with an infinite supply of rockets, Killzone 2 does no wrong. Weapons follow suit as not only does it give you your FPS load-out standard, but it goes the extra mile to give each weapon its own purpose for a certain situation (because you can only hold one at a time anyway). There’s not one point in the game where you’ll feel as if you’ve left a gun out to try, because lord knows, who doesn’t want to fire a gun that shoots lightning? All it’s missing is the ability to fire ninja shirkens.

As a first person shooter, Guerilla has delivered one of the most refined games of the genre. But as good as it may be, refining is all Killzone 2 is good at. So if you are one who is only thrilled by innovation and completely new experiences, this game is not for you. But if you can get passed that narrow mindset that you would have to possess to look past this game, you will be rewarded with a slew of awe inspiring experiences ready to be made from load up to credits and forward onto multiplayer.

To say that the epic feeling of the single player campaign doesn’t follow through to the multiplayer component in Killzone 2 would be a lie so big, it would be like Paris Hilton saying she was innocent, or Enrique Inglasias claiming to be straight (because he isn’t). Everything about the multiplayer component in Killzone 2 screams the word epic in big capital letters. From the scale of the maps, the scale of the player count to the fully fledged rewards system that celebrates skill as well as persistence. Aspects such as this give this game immense longevity only paralleled to that of the infamous Call of Duty 4.

It is only until after being shot on numerous occasions because you’ve paused too long to breathe all of your surroundings in that you appreciate everything that makes the game what it is. Just like the campaign, the familiar stain of war is apparent everywhere in the maps you play on. And the fact that the flow of this epic battle is controlled by you and other people around the world that Killzone 2’s multiplayer creates an identity of its own to stand on its own two feet amongst other stellar titles of the same genre.

Killzone 2 is a solid shooter, no doubt about it, but the thing that constantly nagged at me like a horny woodpecker on the back of my neck throughout the entirety of the game was the large amount of potential it had to narratively motivate the player. So many thematic issues that were barely raised then forgotten about, so many opportunities to make the player care about the characters and their struggles then ditched into a fire, so many historical and societal comparisons and questions that were realized, then whisked out of sight. It was as if Guerilla were playing with the idea of producing an engaging story but didn’t have enough balls to follow it through with the final product. It’s not like it would do any harm, the game is only 7 freaking hours long. And while I could nag on an on about how load times freeze occasionally and how the electric shock that you give to your team mates to revive them looks like radioactive dental floss or a television antenna struck by lightning, I wouldn’t be going anywhere as anybody can nit-pick any game to the point where it becomes nothing more than a supermodel.

If anything of what Killzone 2 means to me, the idea that it had the potential to spit in other games’ faces with a story to make an academy award winning film cry, is enough to make me go insane. But go figure, games do it all the time. I should be used to it. It’s still a young industry with huge amounts of potential, and with the entire “epic” theme in most games nowadays going hollow way too soon, because it’s being over used again and again – especially in shooters, someone is going to have to stand out and rewrite the genre; just don’t expect it from this game. Plus the fact that Killzone 2 has one of the most suicidal inflicting minor (and major) casting roles doesn’t help the matter.

Aside from that, Killzone 2 is probably the best looking console entry at the moment, and possibly the best playing. The only thing that I’ll never get over is the fact Killzone 2 had the potential to be more than just a shooter. So in the end, it didn’t reach the final goal of getting laid, but that doesn’t mean this game is still a virgin. Well, not an innocent one at least.